Mentoring
ASpire provides a trained, volunteer mentor who works with a person with Asperger syndrome over a long period of time - this can be up to a year or maybe longer.
The service-user (mentee) has meetings with their ASpire mentor, usually once each week, for about an hour. This can be at our office, but can be in a cafe or anywhere else that you feel comfortable to meet and talk.
A mentor is a mixture of a friend, a guide and sometimes a teacher - someone who supports the mentee to identify what they would like to change or achieve in their life and works with them in finding out how to make it happen for themselves.
The types of goals that an ASpire mentor may work with on with the mentee can range from learning to cook, dealing with stress and anxiety or travelling comfortably on public transport to finding a job, managing money or spending less time playing computer games - the choice is endless.
Case Study - Harry
Harry came to the project concerned that although he’d been a successful property developer in his previous career, he was aware that he had Asperger syndrome and that it was stopping him from forming meaningful relationships with women. In addition, his son also has Asperger’s and both men were having difficulties communicating with each other in a healthy way.
Harry tells us he is extremely grateful for the support he has received from his mentor over the year and that this has helped him to put his life into perspective. He is now on talking terms with his son who has also received mentoring support from ASpire. Harry feels he is now in a much better position to meet a woman and is now actively seeking a partner.
Harry: 'I absolutely love how she (mentor) has been so kind to me. She has been my Guardian Angel. With her help I am learning lots of the little ways to be integrated in life. She has enabled me to make phone calls where originally I was about 2 out of 10 to now being 7 out of 10. I used to get my secretary to make calls and answer the phone. Nowadays I am able to make all my own calls anyway. She has helped me to talk a lot more, where I would be scared and quiet.'
Case Study - Alex
Alex came to the project seeking support with communicating with others. He also wanted help with getting an Asperger syndrome diagnosis – something he had struggled in getting for some time. This mentoring partnership was a success: nine months on and Alex now has the diagnosis he was seeking; he is now more able to communicate effectively during meetings; after years of negotiating for more suitable housing due to his disabilities, through the mentoring support, he has secured more appropriate housing and has since moved to new accommodation.
Alex now sits on our Steering Group and is grateful to the project for providing a way of improving the quality of his life.
Alex: 'Having someone to take an active interest in my specific case has helped me to tackle the confusing and hard-to-access support available and now I have been able to explain my needs in a way that means I am getting support. For the first time in years I have felt confident enough to make friends and whilst it is still hard for me, having the opportunity to meet with someone I trust regularly has helped me a great deal.'
Case Study - Beth
Beth wanted a mentor to help her gain more self-confidence generally. She works in a school and supports a boy with a learning disability but she feels excluded from other staff members and has difficulty understanding and communicating with others. Through mentoring support, Beth is able to explore these issues at length and now tells us she has a better understanding of herself. Through acceptance from the mentor and attendance at the social learning groups, Beth is now more self-accepting and has developed a way of working with the mentor that means she can deal more effectively with problems that come up.
Beth’s mentor: 'I’m not sure I can put it into glorious words but I encourage her to use her creativity to work through any problems, difficulties or communication breakdowns she has and reduce large overwhelming problems into manageable bite size ones through use of a chart that makes Beth look at why things bother her in the first place and what she can do to overcome it. I like to encourage Beth to celebrate her quirkiness and love to see her endless artistic creations she offers each week.'
Case Study - Jeff
Jeff has had a successful mentoring relationship for three years. Through this relationship, he has now developed sufficient confidence to order concert tickets online and attend classical concerts on his own – something he was never able to do before he had a mentor. Jeff is an academic man whose need for intellectual stimulation is what gives his life meaning. His mentoring relationship meets this need.
Not only has the mentor helped Jeff become more independent, but she has met a fundamental need in him that forms the basis of what is most important for him. Jeff also had counselling from a volunteer counsellor on placement with ASpire for a year. Through counselling, Jeff was able to explore further deep-rooted issues that the mentoring could not address.
Jeff’s feedback from the counselling sessions is that he has been able to explore other sides to himself that he has struggled with over the years. This exploration, he tells us, has meant that he is now more self-accepting and more able to put his anxieties about those issues into perspective so that they no longer distress him in the way they used to. Jeff’s mentoring relationship continues to flourish and has become a befriending relationship – one that honours and respects Jeff for all of who he is, and one that still encompasses and respects boundaries.
Jeff: ‘Just the socials and the chance to talk about things there isn’t much chance to talk about otherwise is very welcome. But one of the things I am most grateful for is that on several occasions my mentor has got rid of copies of my book that I wrote, to interested people she has met.’
Individualised Budgets Support
We can provide support for those with Individualised budgets, in the form of mentoring or other social or practical support. Please contact us to discuss this further.
WANTED - Volunteer Mentors
ASpire are always looking for committed people to train to become mentors to an adult with Asperger syndrome. We require a committment of around 6-8 hours per month, or more if you have the time. We will train you, support you and cover all travel and other expenses involved in your mentoring.
Please contact Su for more information and an informal chat.
Social Groups and Activities
ASpire also run a range of social and discussion groups and activities for adults with Asperger syndrome to broaden social contacts and encourage participation. The social group decides what to do and where to go for their meetings.
Previous events have included:
- Meals out - pizza, Chinese, Indian
- Social meetings in cafes
- Bowling
- Visiting the fair on Brighton Pier
Mentoring and group membership is provided free of charge (social activities need to be paid for), but currently only accessible to those living in or near Brighton and Hove, Sussex, UK.
Individuals do not require a clinical diagnosis of Asperger syndrome or Autistic Spectrum Condition to access ASpire's services, but must accept that they are affected by this type of condition and be ready to work with a mentor.
Su Orosa
ASpire Mentoring Project Leader
01273 229009
su.orosa@aspire.bh-impetus.org
Chris Girvan
ASpire Project Worker
01273 725994
chris.girvan@aspire.bh-impetus.org
Asperger Syndrome counselling
ASpire does not have the capacity or funding to offer Asperger syndrome counselling. However, ASpire Project Leader, Su Orosa, is a trained counsellor who offers private Asperger syndrome counselling to individuals, couples and family members. A percentage of her counselling fee is donated to ASpire to further the activities of the project.
Please contact Su on the above number to arrange a free half hour consulation. Further information on Su's experience can be found here.
**Please note that for ethical reasons and conflicts of interest, the counsellor will not be offering counselling services to ASpire service users, including those who only access the groups and do not have a mentor.