May Muddles (Leila, part 2)

Posted on 7th June 2018 by


Leila has been a member of our Neighbourhood Care Scheme since 2011. Her current volunteer has been visiting her weekly since just before Christmas 2017. Here’s the second entry in her regular series, where she shares her thoughts and experiences of the last month.


My volunteer and I have been chatting about our children, especially having teenage daughters and how they want to stay away from home having sleepovers at their friends’ houses. My volunteer has strict beliefs in which she doesn’t want boys spending the night and worries about her girls being unsupervised when male friends are also sleeping over.

She is worried about promiscuity in boys and girls of that age range. I suggested she speaks to her daughters about how they might keep themselves safe, how their bodies are precious. I, on the other hand, was quite liberal with my daughter. I gave her the tools she needed to keep herself safe and trusted her to make the right choices for her. This is where our culture differs. No matter how much we discuss it, we couldn’t find middle ground. We have respect for each other’s opinion so just exchange stories and listen as good friends do.

I have had a bit of a hard time with my mobility as my wheelchair has been broken for a good part of the month. My wheelchair tipped up and the frame twisted so I had to wait to get it replaced. After a few days back on the road, the same thing happened and the caster wheels needed replacing. Within a few days of that one of the wheels buckled. So I am again housebound whilst I wait for it to be fixed. I am so bored, day and night are merging into one week after another. I am frustrated because I can’t do anything.

On a happier note, my Granddaughter turned four and we had a fantastic day together. She had a Moana [Disney film] themed party which all her friends really enjoyed. I wonder though what life will look like in ten years when she is fourteen. Will her Mother handle the issue my volunteer is now facing in the same way I did, or will she find a different way to tackle it?

One thing for sure is that we want our children to have respect for their bodies, respect for their friends and vice versa. There has to come a time though when we take a leap of faith as we cannot keep them safe with us forever. Parenting can be really difficult. I hope my volunteer is able to find an answer and acquire peace of mind.


Thanks for sharing, Leila! More next month. During 2018 we are celebrating 20 years of the Neighbourhood Care Scheme. Find out more here.

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